I Wanted to Play Like Wes (Montgomery).

I've been a music lover and fan as long as I could remember. My first instrument was my voice. I was in a group called Sound Shop in high school. I went by the name IRBY (Intellectual Ruling Black Youth). My partner Thomas Clarke (aka the Anonymous Light Skinned Delight) and I recorded in his basement - lots of tapes. I used to spit raps to Chakeetha Kitty Spann. I used to seriously build with Ryan Awolola aka GemStarr. In college I formed a hip-hop band called Beat Box Dub with Jordan Herschaft, who was an incredible jazz drummer who was such a jazz head I had to "teach" him to play a basic hip-hop beat. By then I was going by God Blessed the MC - God Blessed for short and eventually folks just started referring to me as "Bless" (as in I'm God Blessed when I'm on the mic). By most standards we were dope. My band mates were amazed at my way with words. Atoi Libertad Smith and Dwayne Dwayne M. Hannibal Sr. can vouch. They were musicians too and Dwayne even joined the band shortly before we split ways. I won a lot of MC battles including a crushing defeat of my dear homie Marc LaMaina. But it got to the point where I stopped entering MC battles because it became dangerous. Folks' homies were never happy when I dusted off they best bet for making it out the hood. Some dudes tried to jump me after a battle one time. The scene was too damn hyper-masculine.

I enjoyed rapping, but I could never shake my amazement at my band mates musicality. Moreover, I could never translate my musical ideas to make them realities. I found myself wanting to do what they did. I stopped wanting to be out front. I yearned to be in the back. I tried several times to learn to play an instrument. But I was impatient and defeated by the difficulty of it. So I quit multiple times. I'd return my starter guitar to the pawn shop. After I graduated and moved to Philly, I found myself alone for days on end sitting in the house. Chillin. I started listening to music ALL the time. Around that time I purchased and listened to Wes Montgomery's "the Incredible Jazz Guitar" album. It literally blew my mind. The album title was fitting. It remains my favorite album ever - Wes' version of "polka dots and moonbeams" holds a dear place in my heart and life. His music was so subtle and sweet and soulful and just right. It reminded me of my dream to be able to play an instrument. So, yet again I bought a guitar. Only this time I bought a new guitar. I had every intention of playing like Wes. I had no knowledge of music theory. Never had a lesson. Nothing. But by that time I had patience. I also knew music history and understood that many Black musicians "just figured in out." So I decided to figure it out too. And it was a mess. Matthew Birkhold is a witness to the mess. He was my housemate. He heard a lot of really bad guitar playing. Folks like Josh Hirst encouraged me. I recall that one time I was being shy about singing and Barnabas Crosby looked at me and basically said "Brother man. Stop being shook. Just play and sing...actin all shy and shit (under his breath)." When I moved to San Francisco I had even more time alone. I spent more time learning. I would go to shows and squeeze my way through the crowd to get as close to the guitarist as possible. I listened. And I watched fingers. I observed chord shapes and noted how different guitarist approached the guitar in their own ways. Around that time I started writing songs and posting videos to MySpace. I was embarrassed by my voice. But it was mine. So what. After a little over a year I moved back to Philly. Now I was eager to play with other musicians. I wanted to break from my sit in the house and play approach. I started recording with hip hop artists and producers like Professor Owk and Shaun Butler and started jamming with folks like Will Boone. I started writing songs for singers like Patrice Berry Addy. It was great. I was poppin. And I was in the background, right where I wanted to be. Then I got a job offer in Milwaukee. I moved. Once again I was alone. I started spending a lot of time playing music and writing songs. Using smartphone technology, I also started recording and archiving videos of my fingers. I still couldn't read music so this was my way of "writing." I also decided that for this go round I was going to get out of my comfort zone. So I started going to open mic events. I rationalized the risk of playing out. It went something like this: "If I don't know anyone and I f*ck up, I can just leave and never come back." That's literally what I had to tell myself in order to play on a stage. I would literally shake before I played. While playing I be praying to make it through the song without "messing up." I was a nervous wreck. But I kept doing it anyway. I found that folks were very supportive. I started backing a dope poet Stephanie La Crema Latona. She was not afraid of the stage at all. Playing behind her exposed me to numerous venues and her confidence calmed me. The icing on the cake was that she would introduce me at her sets and eventually worked me into her show so I could play my original stuff - a lil shine for me. Guess what. Folks liked my style of playing and approach to songwriting (yes-I was developing a distinct style that was all mine). Tyrone Bizzon Miller, Todd Dmt Hudson, and JDL encourage me a great deal. In about two years time I recorded my first ep. It was a private affair. It was me and Jaems Murphy - we played all the instruments. We did a song a day. He filled in to do some stuff I technically did not have the musical skills to do. He pushed me to amp up my playing. He asked me rethink my songs and helped me focus on breaks, bridges, and not being so "standard" in my song structures. With a set of recorded songs in hand and online, I was able to give people a sampling of "what I do." Soon after I met James and Yvette D. Murrell. They held music jams at their house and invited me to attend. I did. And it was dope. At one jam, I met Johnathan M. Laws. As I listened to him play, I felt like we locked in. I gave him a link to my music project and asked him to contact me if he would be interested in playing out. He did. We jammed a few times and it was magic. Then John told James that we were jamming and looking for bassist. The three of us formed Decoteau Black. And all of a sudden, I was no longer in the background. Indeed I was back out front. Fast forward a few years and a second recording project and I met Justin M. Finner and Miguel Sanchez. They stepped in to join the band. And here we are. Although I know my limits, I'm no longer so shy about my musical self. Our music, especially our live performances, are good, especially when we have time to stretch out and jam. The fact that there's so much room to grow is humbling and inspiring. And its amazing how I'm approaching the point where I can almost precisely translate what I hear in my mind into music for others to hear and experience. I'm also blessed to play with folks that compliment me and I them. It's fun. Since I moved to Chicago, I've been thinking about how I got to this point in my musical journey. As folks in Chicago learn that I'm in a band they have lots of questions. The first is usually "what kind of music is it?" My response "soul music." Eventually, the conversation turns to how did you learn to play? My response "I bought a guitar and figured it out." I never planned to be in a band, or record to albums, or to play on a stage. For real for real...I just wanted to play like Wes.

NOTE: I wrote this in September 2016, which marked the beginning of a four year lull in my musical output.